Capitalism: A Blood Bath

Recently I got to see Capitalism: A Love Story at the New York Film Festival. This movie was Michael Moore’s bloodiest movie yet. It made Mel Gibson eating that British soldier alive in The Patriot look like Gibson was merely giving that soldier a hickey.

At the beginning of the movie, Moore wields his axe insanely, asking the board of directors of Goldman Sachs if they’re card carrying members of the Capitalist Party. They all deny such allegations. As a result, Moore has no choice but to assume the only logical conclusion: they’re all liars. So, he goes fanatical and chops them to bits. The whole camera is covered with blood and all you can hear is Moore laughing in the background and priding himself on how his execution of the Goldman directors was similar to how the early Russian pro-communists killed the Czar and his family.

Later on Michael Moore goes to the graves of Ronald Reagan, Margaret Thatcher, and Milton Friedman and begins digging up their corpses, just so he can punch their ugly capitalist corpse faces. I have to admit, this part of the movie was a little extreme. Moore’s complete disrespect for the dead and the living makes this movie one of the best documentaries ever produced.

After Moore gets done with posthumous-ass kicking, he attempts to hijack a plane, so he can crash it into Warren Buffett’s mansion. Michael Moore’s seemingly reckless behavior seems unprovoked but his behavior is justified by years of US Businesses attacking his hometown Flint, Michigan. Moore’s behavior is what the CIA calls blowback.

Anyway, Michael Moore almost hijacks Ben Stein’s plane but he is driven insane and then incapacitated by Stein’s anti-evolutionist arguments. He is quickly subdued by police authorities after the plane is grounded.

After Moore is arrested, the movie quickly cuts to its 20 minutes of Hugo Chavez worship. The movie then ends with a quote from Joseph Stalin. I couldn’t really make it out because it was all spelled out in stupid Russian letters.

I have to say, this movie was pretty damn good. I thought I hated communists but when I saw how violent they could be I think I’m warming up to them.

I Always Thought That Flag Looked Neat

I Always Thought That Flag Looked Neat

I give this movie 8 hammers out of 10 sickles.

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2 thoughts on “Capitalism: A Blood Bath

  1. Pingback: Avatar: Where’s the anti-Americanism? « Carl Sagan's Dance Party

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