Perfect Logic

I recently visited the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. I was browsing through their Top 20 Logical Fallacies and I was very confused. They were calling perfect arguments fallacies. Why would they be calling really good argument logical fallacies? It became quite apparent to me that they were calling perfectly good arguments fallacies because they’re trying to dumb down the public!!!

I just want to counter their nonsense and want to share the truth about how wonderful some of these arguments are.

Ad hominem
Honestly, it makes an incredible amount of sense that you’d attack your opponent rather than their argument. Most people you’ll be arguing with will be either evil or naive. Arguing with their opinion/position will be futile. You probably should call them what they probably are: SHEEPLE!

Ad ignorantium
We don’t know for sure that Federal Chairman Ben Bernanke isn’t a Reptilian. Therefore, he definitely is a Reptilian. I mean, this makes perfect sense. I’m failing to understand why this is a fallacy.

Argument from authority
Hmm….I’m almost convinced by this. The fact that the Skeptic’s Guide is so down on it makes me want to believe it more. Personally, I think most people in authority aren’t necessarily right, especially since a lot of them are wrong and evil liars. But I think people like David Ickes are the right authority and should not be questioned because they’re the kind of authority that make you question most authority. Makes sense to me.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc
This argument is indisputable since it’s quite clear everything I ever do causes some event since the event came right after what I did. I’m beginning to feel like God. For example, I merely took a nap one Saturday afternoon in 1993. The event of Youtube coming into existence many years after 1993 is proof of how efficacious my causal powers were then and now. My very nap caused Youtube to exist. Don’t worry. You’ll soon realize that post hoc ergo propter hoc is true for yourself too. Don’t let the sheeple steer you in the wrong direction with their illogic.

Slippery slopes
Slippery slopes are pretty reliable. For instance, my friend thinks that my views are just a bit fringe. Pretty soon this same friend of mine will think that I am crazy. Later, she’ll be contacting the local authorities and have me put in some kind of reeducation camp. It’s just a matter of time. It’s just one big slippery slope of truth. I better stop hanging out with this friend of mine.

I am right because I am right. I’m not entirely sure what’s so wrong about this. People call this circular reasoning but didn’t the Ancient Greeks think circles were perfect? Don’t we want our reasoning to be as perfect as a circle? Am I missing something here?

I hope the Skeptic’s Guide fails in its attempt to de-educate everyone. These are really great arguments and only an evil person trying to take over the world would tell you that they’re fallacies. How ridiculous.

Always remember! Do your own research and discover your own facts!

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