Review: A Boy and His Dog


I recently watched “A Boy and His Dog” and let me tell you, this movie weirded me out. I don’t know what it was that bothered me, but my daughter Eve tells me that I’m bothered by the main character being a rapist.

She explained that feeling was cognitive dissonance as rape is done by oppressors and the main character is not part of the power structure. And I explained that I never should have paid for that damn liberal arts degree of hers.

No, my real problem is that shaggy dog. Most dogs don’t even have an accent. Also, only Irish Setters have psychic abilities. Also, I find it very annoying when my pets make sound pragmatic arguments.

What really confused me is how inconsistent the film was. First they told me that the movie takes place in the future, then it’s set in the Dust Bowl era. Later in the film, he is accosted by what are clearly emotionless robots. Not 5 minutes later they are demanding his semen. Perhaps the director forgot that they were robots, or maybe robots use semen as some kind of fuel in the post apocalypse.

The title is misleading as well. It should have been called “A boy and his devastated by nuclear war planet and also there is a talking dog.”

One thing that was interesting is how the film explored robot communism. Very few films depict this theory, though this one was mostly on collectivised farming. I mean, where’s the economic theory? Wheres the treatises? All I see is a bunch of farmers stealing semen.

Eve didn’t agree with me that the ending was unrealistic. I thought a starving rapist would eat people. She thought he might feel compelled not to out of guilt. Her argument might have made more sense if I wasn’t eating her pet parrots right in front of her at that very moment. No matter how much she cried, I kept eating guilt or no guilt. Not until I had eaten Fitzparrot Darcy, Mahatma Birdy and William Flapner did I get full and stop eating her pets. Now the only parrot she owns is Immanuel Cawwwwwnt.

I give this movie a rating of 5 out of 7 Horrible Examples of Humanity.

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