Unbelievable History: Emma Goldman

By Gertude Hamm, Herstorian

Emma Goldman was a Russo-American anarchist and feminist who believed in the power of the individual. Goldman believed so strongly in the power of the individual in fact that she built her own rocket ship to go to Mars to live by herself. She built an entire anarchist civilization with her greatest monument being the Face of Mars which she made with no help from anyone except herself, thank you very much.

Before her interplanetary voyages, Goldman defended the anarchist Leon Czolgosz for assassinating President McKinley–and rightly so. The President kept wearing a target on his chest. Czolgosz said in his defense, “I am a patriot, but also a good marksman! It was like he was taunting me.”

She chastised her fellow anarchists for abandoning Czlogosz, “If you can’t assassinate people, what is the point of being an anarchist? I suppose you’re just gonna go get elected to the government or vote. How stupid is that? You stupid fuckers.”

Philosopher Bertrand Russell criticized Goldman’s outspoken opposition to the Soviet Union’s experiment of communism. He stated to her outrightly that his student Wittgenstein gave up philosophy to go work in the collectivized farms. So the Soviet Union can’t be all that bad! She responded to this as she responded to all criticism: She arranged to have Russell assassinated.

Goldman opposed conscription into the first World War, not because she saw it as a militant force driven by a corrupt government, but because she was jealous that she and other women couldn’t fight the good fight against the barbarous krauts.

The war didn’t go well for the Americans, but luckily Goldman and Company saved the day. Kaiser Wilhelm only surrendered after Wilson threatened to send in his battalion of crazed Anarcho-womens. Goldman celebrated their victory by getting laid and the beguiled krauts were weeping in the streets.

In addition to her work for anarchism, feminism, and assassinationism, she was an ardent foe of prejudice against homosexuals. Her campaign was called, “Don’t Knock It ‘Til You Try It.” And believe me, there was little she would knock. Also, she started the campaign of “Once You Go Gay, You’re Here To Stay” and even later was “We’re Here, We’re Queer, Would You Like To Have Sex?” Goldman was definitely the alpha female, as she had more sex than all the other anarchists combined.

She was dedicated to taking whatever action benefited the world. So, in 1940 when she was convinced that she was a negative influence on global affairs, she assassinated herself via a massive stroke.

Check out this book that advocates assassinationism.

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