This article is a response to prominent “birther” Tony Crandall’s statements about “President” Obama’s citizenship.
Look I know Obama is hiding the fact that he was not born in this country. He was born overseas in Kenya. He’s not willing to show that birth certificate live and in front of the country. But I think it’s time to come to a compromise. I think it’s high time that President Obama concedes to us that he will only count as 3/5’s of a President. Look, I’m not racist for saying this, okay? I just think that he should only be able to pass 3/5ths of the legislation into law or veto only 3/5ths of it. He gets to pick whatever 3/5ths he wants; it’s his choice. Isn’t that good enough given that he might not actually be our President? I mean…even if he legitimately was President, he only represents the fake America. Look, this 3/5ths stuff has nothing to do with the 3/5ths compromise. That would be racist. So like I said it has nothing to do with that!
On the plus side, this means only 2/5ths of the troops under Barrack Hussein Obama’s command will be led poorly. Any troops carrying out his orders will only be guilty of 2/5ths of treason!
My liberal Missippian friend Tony Crandall thinks that Osama, I mean Obama ought to be treated as 4/5ths instead of 3/5ths of a President. His reason is beyond me. The big latte drinking liberal!
This is what he says:
“Look, it’s quite logical that Osama..I mean Obama should not be counted strictly as 3/5ths of a person. This guy does have some white in him. What you do is take the 3/5ths (black) and add it to the 5/5ths (white) in him and then divide by two to take the average thus resulting in 4/5ths. Obama should logically be 4/5ths of a president because of his halfbreeded nature….I’m not racist by the way….I just think Osama…I mean Obama needs to compromise with this idea if he’s not going to show us his birth certificate…
Maybe we could give Obama an extra percentage point of citizenship for every faked birth certificate he shows us. The lies at least are getting more creative. By this point he might be 23% eligible for the presidency. But I’m not a racist for thinking that! By the way, I have my birth certificate on hand at all times. If anyone EVER questions my citizenship, I will show it to them, and then shoot them.”
Man, my liberal friend can say some radical things (and he’s just a moderate liberal!). It just makes you think that this whole country is filled with radicals. I’m beginning to feel like I’m the crazy one. Anyway….
For those of you who’ve been duped by the LIEberal elites, let me lay out some of the problems with having an illegitimate president (that is, innelligeble for the office, not a bastard child, though many birthers have theories on that too!)
1. Health Care
I’m so infuriated at how this latest socialist agenda is going to have all of the elderly being chased by Dr. Kevorkian wannabes promising a quick and painless death in exchange for your whole goddamn paycheck. Do you really want grandma in Obama’s gruesome death camps. I even heard from a friend’s cousin’s basketball coach that Obama makes little doodle of frowning old people being gassed by him personally while he does a little dance.
2. Economic Stimulus
If a nearly a trillion dollars was really allocated toward economic recovery then why did Obama’s bank statement show that he bought several hundred billion dollars in DVDs on Amazon.com. I saw it on the Drudge Report.
3. Cash For Clunkers
Liberals are just trying to take away our cars. Anything to promote their anti-american environmentalist agenda. Next you’ll see a “Cash for nuclear power plants” program. Don’t fall for it America!
4. The Implied Plan to Take Away All Our Guns
I don’t need to go into any detail here. The only time you see liberals on the shooting range is if they have “volunteered” to be a target or if they are trying to pry a gun from my cold dead hands. Happens every day.
5. Ceding control of the Whitehouse to Kenya (or maybe Indonesia?)
It’s very hard to tell what’s going on with this. Considering that Obama appointed a czar of Olympic class running and that the Treasury Department has been almost entirely replaced by Orangutans, I have a hard time figuring out what he’s aiming at.
Look this is free speech. I have the right to say it. No matter what consequences it may have. Did I mention that I am not a racist? Freedom of speech also means I can say whatever I want even if it is taken out of context by the LIEberal media. One time I was saying that this country should be rid of all the Mexicans but the media reported that I said, “This country should be rid of all the Mexicans!!!!!!” They got it all wrong…I used one fewer exclamation mark. Those liars!
Barrack Osama is clearly not a citizen. (If you need convincing, see the youtube documentary Loose Certificates) Unfortunately, it seems we’re stuck with him since congress is controlled by socialists who are also communists and fascists. It seems inevitable that we’re going to lose our country to illegal immigrants commiting terrorist attacks all across Texas.
Anyway back to my original point. What was my original point? Oh yeah, that stupid liberal Tony Crandall needs to realize that Obama cannot be treated 1/5 more of a person than what he is. I think Obama should only have 3/5ths of the power of the President in all regards and that’s my final word. I’d just like to say in case I hadn’t said it – I am not a racist! It is your patriotic duty to question if your black President…I mean any President….look this has nothing to do with having a black President. Like what I was saying, it is your patriotic duty to question if your black President…dammit, I did it again. It’s just your duty to ask for a birth certificate and if no birth certificate is revealed, just make Obama to agree with the 3/5ths compromise…whoops I mean the 3/5ths Presidential Compromise. Yeah.
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