By Amateur Philosopher Penny Ham
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve their archaic and primitive understandings of what human agency really is.
We hold these truths to be self-evident that we are a conglomeration of desires and beliefs. That we are endowed by our Prior Causes with certain determined Reasons, that among these are Beliefs and Desires. That to secure these reasons, men don’t have to do crap since their reasons are already secured by prior cause and effect — That when any form of agency (aka some supernatural agent) becomes destructive of these ends, it is the reason of the people to dissolve their belief in this dumb ontological posited Agent. The history of the Theory of Agent Causation is a history of repeated injury and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute Tyranny over these Beliefs and Desires.
Agent Causation Theory has wrongly denied our true nature by putting in place a nature that is purely inhuman – that is, positing an agent that has no intrinsic beliefs or desires but simply acts arbitrarily.
Agent Causation Theory posits an Agent that is not a proper representative of our Desires but instead acts arbitrarily and clearly denies some Desires power and grants other Desires power without any particular Reason or Explanation why (when it is completely clear that the Desires themselves can and have the right to settle their own disputes).
Agents Causation Theory posits a mysterious Agent that does not give one bit of explanation for why it wills or does not will. Therefore, making it epistemologically inaccessible thereby not informing the Desires and Beliefs if it is even causing some actions in the interests of Desires and Beliefs.
Agent Causation Theory posits an Agent that will actually on many occasions act against our desires, thereby willing against the interests of a large sum of Desires, thereby not being a proper representative of the interests of the Desires.
Agent Causation Theory posits an Agent that complicates the Metaphysics and therefore is injurious to Ockham’s Razor (in fact, the Razor is dulling as I write these words).
We, therefore the beliefs and desires of Penny Ham, in General Self, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitute of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Content of these mental states, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Reasons are, and of Desire ought to be Free and Independent Reason; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Agent Crown, and all metaphysical connection between them and the State of Agenthood, is and ought to be totally dissolved.
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