Future Facts: Video Games


Video games are vastly different in the future. First of all, we no longer strive toward realism. We have to deal with 3 nuclear wars per month and we got sick of post-apocalyptic and uber realistic violence because we have to live it. It’s a bit like if someone made a game in which you fight wih your spouse about finances. Too mundane. We like to have 8-bit, or preferrably .8 bit games.

One problem video games had in the 2010s is that they were nonlinear and interactive. There was no way of knowing if you played the game rightly or wrongly.

Since we lost all digital information following the EMP attacks, we no longer had our most cherished art–20th century movies. My favorite video game is a black and white, 3.2 bit, non-interactive Casablanca.

The reason for the shift towards low quality graphics is because we moved away from using consoles to using phones. And cell phones regressed until we were playing games on rotary phones and telegraphs. I am hoping to own a copy of Super Morse Code Bros.

Nintendo is just as popular as ever and agin’ ol’ Miyamoto is still lendiing his creative juices to the process. As he did in the 1980s to the 2010s, the inspiration for games comes from his life. Of course, in his old age he’s become quite mad. So now Nintendo has this whole series of games centered on collecting jars of urine and keeping the CIA out of your beard.

Of course, no video game collection would be complete without the pinnacle of George Lucas’ achievements–Star Wars Merchandiser. Play as a heroic George Lucas navigating the treacherous minefield of toy manufacturers and marketers.

People worried back in your time that video games might damage childrens’ ability to distiguish between fantasy and reality. Luckily, they were wrong. Instead, video games wound up only destroying chidrens’ ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality TV and actually also destroyed the actual distinction between fantasy and reality TV. Reality TV became so interactive that people at home could fire shots at the participants of Biggest Loser until they were hunted to extinction.

The other paranoid delusion that you had was that children would develop violent tendencies after playing games such as Grand Theft Auto. I guess they were wrong, because shortly after that wave of psychologists being murdered, we haven’t heard a word about this at all.

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