Why Buy the Cow?


Why buy the cow if you haven’t had the milk of 50 other cows?

Why buy the cow when there is an efficient infrastructure for milk delivery?

Why buy any animal? They’re just going to die eventually.

Why buy the cow when you can get some nutritious and healthy rice milk for free (let’s say you know a rich hippie)?

Why buy the cow when it’s the cow’s fetish to be bought before giving milk and not your fetish?

Why buy the cow when your farming experience is negligible and you are likely to alienate the fist few cows you get milk from by being an inexperienced milker?

Why buy the cow if you are a robot who requires neither food nor sex, thus making the metaphor void on both counts?

Why buy the cow if you’re lactose intolerant?

Why buy the cow when you live in a studio apartment and would have no grazing room for a ruminator?

Why buy the cow when you can digest grass on your own and don’t need a separate organism to act as a proxy for gaining those nutrients?

Why buy the cow when horses are on sale?

Why buy the cow when renting requires less financial commitment while freeing you of maintenance duties?

Why buy the cow when its already given its milk to like 80 other farmers?

Why buy the cow if you are a little goat-curious?

Why buy the cow? Why buy? Why do we exist? Why?

Why buy the cow when you shouldn’t call the other angus black or something?

Why not buy two cows? Its legal in Utah!

Why buy the cow if you cannot have your cow and eat it too? And an early cow to bed is healthy, wealthy, and wise, and a cow saved is a cow earned?

Why buy the cow if the metaphor breaks down?

Why buy the cow if you’re more attracted to the bull? Be honest to yourself about your sexual orientation.

Why not buy a cow that continuously gives you free milk? Where are you going to find another one of those?

Why buy the cow if it never lets you hang out with your friends anymore?

Why buy the cow especially if it talks about long term commitment, marriage, and kids?

Why buy a bottle of water when water is for free…crap people do that all the time never mind.

Why buy the cow just because it’s having a mid-cow crisis and suddenly wants calves?

Did you like this article? Subscribe today!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s