Fuck you, Peter Singer! #6

For some reason, all of the hate mail ever written to Peter Singer gets forwarded to us. We have no idea why. So we’ve decided to start posting them.

Dear Peter Singer,
As a blood sucking member of society I enjoyed a life of being a tick on the back of society. There I was living an excellent life of hedonism until my brother brought me a couple of books espousing your philosophy. Now I had to fucking wake up and see that the needs of the many outweigh my fucking ass. Thanks a lot dickhead. Now I’m gonna hang myself. Toodles!

-Suicidal in San Diego

Dear Peter Singer,
At first I thought I’d like you since you tell people in wealthy USA and Europe to give over their money to people who are worse off, like me in Somalia. However, it turns out that this didn’t work out too well because after people set out to help me, the people in my village who had read your book then robbed me for the greater good. I’m back to the level of poverty I was at earlier, but now I know what I am missing. Fuck you Peter Singer.

-Surly in Somalia

Dear Peter Singer,
Before I read your philosophy, I was a foolish Ayn Randian. Sure, she was wrong as Hell, but I find that your philosophy is way worse. I fucking gave up everything, EVERYTHING for utilitarianism. I went out of my way busting my ass for the poor. I always helped them and they were never thankful. After a while I became disillusioned and now I am a nihilist! All, I do anymore is bother the fuck out of school children telling them that life is meaningless and they should end it all! That’s what your philosophy does to people. No, that’s what YOU do to people. I hope you’re living it up with billion dollar lectures, ass!

-Angry in Allentown

Fuck you, Peter Singer #5

For some reason, all of the hate mail ever written to Peter Singer gets forwarded to us. We have no idea why. So we’ve decided to start posting them.

Dear Peter Singer,

I recently made the mistake of reading your book, The Life You Save, the day before I hosted an orgy at my house. Normally my orgies are well-received, but this time I was trying to be moral with it. I took people who looked like they might not get enough pleasure from the experience and took them out of the orgy mid-coitus and made them sit in the corner. Logically (according to you) that would ensure that the orgasm of the many would succeed at the cost of the orgasm of a few. Turned out it was a net loss for eroticism and I’m now banned from the fornicators guild. I’m never hosting a utilitarian sex party again!

-Sexy in Sacramento

Fuck You, Peter Singer! #3-4


For some reason, all of the hate mail ever written to Peter Singer gets forwarded to us. We have no idea why. So we’ve decided to start posting them.

Dear Peter Singer,
How dare you call yourself a moral philosopher, you shit for brains! My husband followed your advice to the letter, he did everything in the name of your thoughtless diatribes. Now he’s in jail for infanticide. Yes, infanti-fucking-cide. He killed our down syndrome baby in order to keep it from living a life of pain and inability. Well, guess what, fuck head, things aren’t so peaches and cream for us! Now he’s in jail and I’m struggling to keep my job, which is prostitution, and my pimp is gonna beat the living shit out of me. I hope you there is a special place in Hell for you Utilitarians. You want welfare for all, but all you do is create a life of fucking Hell.

-Miserable in Montana

We can’t respond to this criticism since we aren’t Peter Singer.

Dear Peter Singer,
Your moral statements are bullshit. You tell everyone that it’s morally permissible to kill the mentally handicapped, but for SOME REASON, every time I helpfully slit the throat of someone sitting next to me on the bus on the basis that they might be mentally handicapped, I’m hauled off to jail and given a lecture about how it’s in fact immoral and those people weren’t even mentally handicapped. Maybe you should put some more thought into your positions. Just my two cents.

-Slitting in Salem

Fuck You, Peter Singer! #2


For some reason, all of the hate mail ever written to Peter Singer gets forwarded to us. We have no idea why. So we’ve decided to start posting them.

Dear Peter Singer,
I became convinced that animals deserved rights after I read your book, Animal Liberation. I spent all my money suing the U.S. government to give my dog JimmyWhimmy full human-level rights. I finally did win–and I was ecstatic–but then JimmyWhimmy turned out to be not nearly as clever as we thought. He misused his right to vote and registered as a Libertarian. If dogs are just gonna throw their votes away, what’s the fucking point of me going into poverty to give them rights? Go die in a pit, Singer.

-Vegan in Vermont

Fuck You, Peter Singer

For some reason, all of the hate mail ever written to Peter Singer gets forwarded to us. We have no idea why. So we’ve decided to start posting them.

Dear Peter Singer,

Thanks a lot, you bastard! I took your advice at helping people’s whose needs outweighed mine and gave some poor bastards my house, my car, and my job. Now they’re still bastards and rich bastards at that. They’re always driving up and down the road with my Lexus, using my unlimited gas card, and throwing rocks at me, my wife, and my kids. They’ll actually stop by my cardboard box home and shit on it and piss on it laughing maniacally. I bet your philosophy didn’t see that one coming, you fuck.

-Homeless in Houston